2013 Renewed Hope

Welcoming in 2013 with a renewed sense of hope and assurance

^"This I recall to my mind, therefore have I hope.   It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.  They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.  The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.   It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord."  Lamentations 3:21-26

This is a passage that comes to mind often and reminds me that the Lord is all I need, that He is faithful and His mercies are new every morning.  A promise that is full of hope remembering that He is always good to those of us who wait.  Waiting quietly on the Lord requires alot of patience and complete trust.  Is not something easily come by especially if we are someone who tends to want to see results immediately.  Often it takes some kind of affliction in our personal life, whatever form that comes in, that may teach us to focus fully on the Lord and His faithfullness.  During the weakest part of that process the Lord teaches us patience and to put our trust completely in His hands.  Surrendering complete control when we feel we are at our weakest is where the Lord needs us to be.  Seems simple but definitely not easy - but reassuring that the Lord has His best for me.

The year 2012 closed with  new and exciting adventures to remember, bringing in 2013 with renewed sense of hope for what the Lord has planned for my future.  Making it through a full calendar year without any major health issues and without being treated for lung infections with IV antibiotics is a year to file away in the folder of memories to celebrate.  I am extremely thankful and grateful to the Lord, Jesus Christ my Savior for providing me with amazing health at my age considering the statistics attached to Cystic Fibrosis.  2013 is already starting out as a year for me to celebrate new adventures to share with my husband as the future continues to unfold for us together.  As things in my life seem stable I want to remember to trust in my faithful Savior and never forget where my blessings come from.  Also serving Him faithfully daily by giving up self and quietly waiting on the Lord.  "Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."  Psalm 46:10

The Greatest Gift

"Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift."  11 Corinthians 9:15  It is the Christmas season and the year 2012 is coming to a close.  A year of great health, things to look forward to and blessings immeasurable.  The highlight of 2011 was celebrating my 50th birthday which God so graciously allowed me to enjoy with family and friends in abundance.

Pulling my blog out of hibernation in the coldest time of the year is reminding me of what has already passed in the last 2 years.  It seems I was to busy celebrating and enjoying life to sit and write about it.  I want to put my chatting skills to good use by writing things down and remembering what the Lord has done for me.  Turning 50 was an extremely awesome time in my life and a milestone I never expected to see in my lifetime.  A weekend of celebrations left me a bit under the weather and three days of recovery was required to get myself back into action.  As 2011 continued to unfold the reality of me turning 50 was also starting to hit both physically and mentally.  But always thankfull to see another year come to a close with 2012 on the horizon full of things to plan and look forward to.  Life is to short to sit and waist it away.

I had been praying alot about getting another dog and in March of this year the search began.  It didn't take long and a phone call to a breeder who had Boston Terriers for sale was made.  As we chatted she sensed I was not interested in spending to much money, so she presented me with an option that we could hardly refuse.  A year and three month old male was available living out in there dog kennel that had never been sold.  I questioned her briefly about him.  One specific question I had decided I would ask was if he had a name.  Odd I know, but I felt that if he hadn't been named that would solidify our decision.  No name, what wonderful news.  Sharing all the information I had with Gary, we decided to go take a look and that is all it took - one look.  He was ours!! We went home preparing for our new permanent guest anticipating his imminent arrival.  A cool winter day about mid March we brought our Rocky home.  He is very healthy and energetic and we haven't regretted our decision of bringing him home yet.  Just celebrating his 2nd birthday with us before Christmas reminded me how quickly the time has passed.

Another event that took place the first week of Dec. was an awesome ladies trip to Orlando, Florida.  Phonecalls, planning, booking and preparing for this trip started way back in June/July of this year.  Six months before leaving seemed like a long time away, but the time again passed very quickly and before I knew it six of us ladies were boarding a plan leaving this cold, snowy weather behind here in Saskatchewan.  Eagerly anticipating beautiful, sunny weather in Florida was an amazing feeling once the United Airlines landed safely at the Orlando airport.  It was an awesome time away enjoying the company of some family and close friends.  Enjoying alot of the sites and spending ample time in the covered pool in the backyard of the Villa we had rented is a memory that will always be cherished, especially being with those so close to me.

Well the biggest event in our lives that is slowly unfolding is making a big move from Saskatoon to Hepburn.  A bad day at work for Gary and a brief conversation about moving and selling the house started us on a whole new journey we have never ever imagined.  In a week we had the house ready for listing and in 4 days we had an offer we couldn't refuse.  House sold with no house to move into so in between moves is where we have ended up.  We have purchase a lot in Hepburn and made our first payment to Zak's Building Supplies to move ahead on building our RTM (ready to move) house.  The blueprints are in our hands, some contracts signed, some products ordered and the building begins about mid January.  So excited about what is to come.

Starting a Bible study together with a friend on the gospel of John has also been extremely beneficial for me.  Learning about the Lord Jesus Christ and what he has done for me has been very refreshing.  It is nothing I have done, but the greatest sacrifice that was made on that cross for me and my sinful life.  That is why at this time of year his birth should be a reminder of what he came for.  He came as a baby, grew up to then sacrifice his life on that tree so that I could have life eternal, the greatest gift ever given. 

So I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and God's richest of blessings to you in 2013.

                                                                                                                God Bless
                                                                                                                 Barbara (:

Thanksgiving Oct. 10th, 2010

Greetings.....It has been awhile since I have sent updates, so here it goes. Not interested please delete. I also know I am sending this to several people who have been updated. Again please feel free to delete.

I have a centerpiece on my kitchen table that I put together celebrating Thanksgiving. The thanksgiving message on it is "GIVE THANKS" - Unto the Lord, we offer now our praise, for bounties never ceasing and goodness all our days. Underneath that - Faith, Family, Friends, for these we give thans. This Thanksgiving represented so much more tome I belive than ony other year this holiday has been celebrated. As I look back over the year and what God has allowed to take place in my life, I can only say Thank You for all I have been through as it has definitely defined my relationship with my Savior and brought me to a better understanding of who He is. I believe anything that draws me closer to the Lord and ends up glorifying His name is worth all the struggle. It has probably been the toughest year in my 49 years of life.

One new health issue after another and the challenges continue. On Sept. 22nd Gary took me to emergency once again this year. I had been experiencing extreme pain on the left side of my chest and in my left arm. The most severe out of those six days I had the overwhelming sense of passing out, pain that would be all the way around my chest and back, like a band was being tightened causing me shortness of breath. My hand even went numb, but I still continued day after day kind of thinking one day it would just pass. Anyway it was getting more uncomfortable to lie down and even with my back against the furniture taking anywhere from 3-5 hours to pass. Okay so finally I thought maybe it was time to go to emergency and have this checked out. When you go to emergency presenting with chest pain they immediately take you into a room and treat you as if you were possibly having a heart attack. They talked me into staying in for the night in emerg., and not really willingly I stayed after some encouragement from my amazing husband. The doctor also said we don't want to send you home if it is possible you are experiencing some heart complications and he would feel better if I talked to the Cardiologist in the morning.

So the pain seemed to pass over night and didn't start back up until dinner time. I told the nurse about it, but told her I didn't want any medication for it. She immediately called the doctor that had been attending to me the night before and together with the Cardiologist they were down in my room in 5 minutes. Dr. Orvold explained in easy to understand words that he suspected I was experiencing Gastro Esophogial Reflux Disease. This is basicly an very extreme case of Acid Reflux. I have dealt with acid reflux for most of my adult life and have treated it with things you can buy off the shelf. The symotoms had changed and I had no idea this was coming from that. He explained that he had looked over all the test results of tests that had been taken over the past year and felt very confident in concluding that I did not have coronary artery disease and that my heart was very good. That was a big load off my mind and Gary and I were both very relieved. He wrote me a prescription for GERD and said that I may have to tolerate the pain for at least 4-6 weeks. I was definitely okay with that, knowing that the pain was not coming from my heart. He also said that the symptoms I was feeling are very symptomatic of heart disease that many people experience and are diagnosed with GERD. Both Gary and I thanked him greatly and were very impressed with the way he handled my situation. One of the most amazing doctors we have encountered along this journey of mine.

Anyway it has been 4 weeks since I started the medication and the pain still comes and goes, but has not become as severe as before the pills. In the meantime I also went to see Darrell Wright my blood analyst and he has started me on a natural product to help control the acid levels in my stomach. Last week for the 1st time since this all started back on Jan. 14th, I swept and washed my floors upstairs in 2 shifts. As I was cleaning my floors I was thanking the Lord that I could do that again and feel a little more like the person I once knew. I was able to start walking outside yesterday, just around the block, but it felt amazing. I go around the block several times which turns into a 20 minute walk. I just can't stop praising the Lord for what He has taken me through. The year isn't quite up, so the challenges could continue. But I know the Lord is with me through each one and is my strength, especially when I am at my weakest.

There are so many verses and passages from the Bible that come to my mind as I am so grateful and thankful for all my experiences. The verses I am going to share maybe don't express direct thanks, but they represent why those tough times come. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:2,3,4, & 12

May all the thanksgiving celebrations represent something truly amazing to each of you. God's richest blessing and He can get us through anything.

God Bless - Love Barbara

Merry Christmas to you and a very Happy New Year. This has been the most emotional New Year I have ever had. Thinking back over the year and remembering that in March I thought I was living out my last days, possibly not making it to my 49th birthday and now welcoming in 2011. As Gary and I watched the countdown to January the 1st 2011 I told him this was very emotional for me. I made it until 2011 and I am here on earth and not in Heaven yet. I called my Mom and Dad to say Happy New Year and I said I made it, I am still here. My Mom responded back with a very jubilent, PRAISE THE LORD!! That I am doing continuously.

As we all anticipate what is in store for us in this New Year let us make sure we are also ready for our Eternal destination. The Bible says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son." John 3:16, 17, 18

2010 Email Updates

Saturday, September 2nd - Hello and Good Afternoon - "Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefuts." Psalm 103:1 & 2 I started this message out with Praise the Lord, cuz' I feel like I can't Praise Him enough for where he has taken me in 7 weeks. The blood analyst has literally saved my life and I feel alive again. I have decreased my blood pressure medication 2 times already, my blood sugars are more normal now and I have lots and lots of energy. I weeded my front yard for the first time all year yesterday (in shifts), but I got it done. That felt awesome. I sleep much better at night at night and feel amazing. Thanking the Lord every day for putting Darrell Wright into my life, cuz' what a difference. Anyway I feel alive again, I feel amazing, I feel awesome, well I think you get the picture. So hey the new spunky Barb is back and around Lord willing to harass and give everybody a hard time. Hee, hee, hee!!! I am so thankful for the amazing husband I have who has supported me through everything that has taken place this year and has never doubted me, but stood by my side and wanted something better for me, so that we could continue enjoying our live together in future years. Take care and God Bless - Barbara (-: (-: (-: (-:

Tuesday, October 19th - Greetings - It has been awhile since I have sent updates, so here it goes. Not interested please delete. I also know I am sending this to several people who have been updated. Again please feel free to delete. I have a centerpiece on my kitchen table that I put together celebrating Thanksgiving. The Thanksgiving message on it is, "GIVE THANKS" - Unto the Lord we offer now our Praise, for bounties never ceasing, and goodness all our days. Underneath that - Faith, Family, Friends, for these we give thanks. This Thanksgiving represented so much more to me I believe than any other year this holiday has been celebrated. As I look back over the year and what God has allowed to take place in my life. I can only say Thank you for all I have been through as it has definitely defined my relationship with my Savior and brought me to a better understanding of who He is. I believe anything that draws me closer to the Lord and ends up glorifying His name is worth all the struggle. It has probably been the toughest year in my 49 years of my life. One new health issue after another and the challenges continue. On Sept. 22nd, Gary took me to emergency once again this year. I had been experiencing extreme pain on the left side of my chest and in my left arm. The most severe out of those six days I had an overwhelming sense of passing out; pain that was all the way around my chest and back like a band was being tightened causing me shortness of breath. My hand even went numb, but I still continued day after day kind of thinking that one day it would just go away. Anyway it was getting more uncomfortable to lie down and even to sit with my back against the furniture, taking anywhere from 3-5 hours to even pass. Okay so finally I thought maybe it was time to go to emergency and have this checked out. When you go to emergency presenting with chest pain they immediately take you into a room and treat you as if you were possibly having a heart attack. They talked me into staying for the night in emerg., and not really willingly I reluctanltly stayed after some encouragement from my amazing husband. The doctor also said we don't want to send you home if it is possible you are experiencing some heart complications and he would feel better if I could talk to the Cardiologist in the morning. So the pain seemed to pass over night and didn't start back up until dinnertime. I told the nurse about it, but told her I didn't want any medication for it. She immediately called the doctor that had been attending to me the night before and together with the Cardiologist they were down in my room within 5 minutes. Dr. Orvold explained in easy to understand words that he suspected I was experiencing Gastro Esophigial Reflux Disease. This is basicly a very extreme case of Acid Reflux. I have dealt with acid reflux most of my adult life and treated it with things you can buy off the shelf. The symptoms changed and I had no idea that this was coming from that. He explained that he looked over all the test results of tests that had been taken over the past year and felt very confident in concluding that I did not have coronary artery disease and that my heart was very good. That was a load off my mind and Gary and I were both very relieved. He wrote me a prescription for GERD and said that I may still have to tolerate pain for at least 4-6 weeks. I was definitely okay with that, knowing that the pain was not coming from my heart. He also said that the symptoms I was feeling are very symptomatic of heart disease that many people experience and are diagnosed with GERD. Both Gary and I thanked him greatly and were very impressed with the way he handled my situation. One of the most amazing doctors we have encountered along this this journey of mine. Anyway it has been 4 weeks since I started the medication and the pain still comes and goes, but has not become as severe as before the pills. In the meantime I also went to see Darrell Wright, my blood analyst and he has started me on a natural product to help control the acid levels in my stomach. Last week for the first time since this has all started back on Jan. 14th, I swept and washed all my floors in 2 shifts. As I was cleaning my floors I was thanking the Lord that I could do that again and feel a little more like the person I once was. I was able to start waling ouside yesterday, just around the block, but it felt amazing. I go around the block several times which turns into a 20 minute walk. I just can't stop praising the Lord for what He has taken me through. The year isn't quite up so the challenges could continue. But I know the Lord is with me through each one and is my strength especially when I am at my weakest. There are so many verses and passages from the Bible that come to my mind as I am so grateful and thankful for all my experiences. The verses that I am going to share at this point may don't express direct thanks, but they represent to me why those tough times come. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:2,3,4 & 12 May all the thanksgiving celebrations represent something truly amazing to each of you. God's richest blessing and He can get us through anything. God Bless - Love - Barbara (-:

God's Grace is Sufficient

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." II Corinthians 12:7-10 "May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world." Galatians 6:14

Yes it is August 30th and I am finally getting back to updating my story. I posted this photo of Gary and I because it speaks volumes to me after everything we have been through the past year. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, or in our case 19 years of wedded bliss.

Let me go back to March 2nd - 13th where I was hospitalized for high blood pressure. After sorting out my medications I was able to be discharged from the hospital. It seemed like life was much the same at home the months following my discharge. Alot of patience waiting for my health to improve, others coming and cleaning, cooking and taking care of laundry and groceries, while Gary went to work. I am so thankful and grateful for my mother and her continued sacrifice of herself to look after us and our household duties. There were still plenty of doctor appointments, medication adjustments and me trying to figure things out. Little by little I was getting stronger and able to cook a meal here and there and even go downststairs to do a load of laundry. Eventually I was able to keep up with most of the household chores at my pace, and that wasn't very speedy. Washing floors, dusting and cleaning bathrooms required alot more strength and energy than I had, so I still had others doing that for me.

July started off a whirlwind of summer events that tested my strength, perseverance and confidence level in myself. Instead of our yearly summer Amendt family hottub party we tried a new adventure and headed out to Pike Lake. We had reserved cabins and campsites early in January for a three day weekend in July. Packing food, clothes, bedding and all the things needed for camping was only the beginning of the challenges for me. Starting to organize and pack well ahead of time helped to keep me from becoming overwhelmed with the whole camping process. Once to the lake I wanted to challenge myself with as much walking as I could do, which wasn't very much, but knew it would help with the healing process. Again success on so many levels. Up early and visiting late into the evening, going for small walks with the nieces and nephews, and sisters, helping out a little with meals and even packing all up again when we headed home. It turned out to be an awesome week for the Amendt family camping trip and looking forward to the Pike Lake adventure again next summer.

The 2 weeks prior to Pike Lake I was able to go on IV antibiotics for my lungs again, which in turn gave me an extra added boost to enjoy our time at the lake. Ten days was as many days as I could tolerate this time round with the meds. We had to go three times to emergency in ten days to get my IV restarted, so after ten days I pulled the last needle out and called it a done deal. My arms and hands were sore and bruised from IV's that failed within minutes of being tried and from the many tubes of blood that had to be taken from me on at least 4 different days in the ten day period. Finally enough is enough. It did help somewhat, but not as much as I was used to in the past.

In the months leading up until July I was getting stronger little baby steps at a time, but I started noticing I couldn't eat as much as I should be, because I felt full all the time. Eventually going to the bathroom was becoming more and more difficult. It seemed that I was feeling more pressure in my abdomen over time and then my clothes around my waist weren't fitting properly. Oh sure at first thought it sounds like I was just gaining weight, but I felt more like something was growing inside of me. Before you all start thinking wierd things let me clear your thoughts - No Chance of Pregnancy - didn't even cross my mind. Throughout the month of July it seemed like the pressure was getting worse and it seemed like I couldn't go to the bathroom anymore. Gary did not like the fact that I wasn't eating anything, or at least as good as nothing. My mom had given me the name of a blood analyst about a month earlier, so after alot of encouragement from my husband I finally agreed to call and set up an appointment with him. July 22nd I met with Mr. Darrell Wright who works with natural products and colon/liver cleansing here in Saskatoon. Thank the Lord for sending me to a man with his ability. After Gary and I felt the doctors had done all they could and were going to do I was basicly on my way to dieing. I thought I would never see my 49th birthday. A very hopeless, skeptical Barbara entered an office, but left with hope and a chance at living again.

Perseverance Under Trial

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Blessed is the man who perseverses under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised." James 1:2-4,12 (NIV)
Sorry I have fallen behind on the updates here on my blog, so lets try to catch up. Leaving off with feeling like the doctors are finally getting behind the high blood pressure, things take a more serious turn for the worse. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday bring the spiking blood pressures again and I call Gary at work to come home and take me to Royal University Hospital emergency. I am rushed in ahead of others to see a doctor and again test after test is done and something very small shows up in the blood work. The emergency doctor tells me my sodium is low and would highly recommend that I be admitted to hospital. When the doctor that does the admitting comes to see me the many monitors that I am hooked up to are signalling high blood pressure and very fast heart rate. So no questions asked I was immediately admitted to hospital that evening of March 2nd. A room came available to me around 12:30 am and I was promptly moved up to the ward.
My first night was shared with 3 elderly men who could not get out of there beds, couldn't feed themselves, and shared special sounds like snoring and, well you get the picture. I think I may have had my first experience of what it would be like in a nursing home. Fortunately that would be short lived and I was moved to a private room that afternoon - Yah!! So more tests, lots of blood work, Heparin shots twice a day to keep me from blood clots, because I was not moving around much. A heart stress test was done on Thursday which had not been properly explained to me, which I later found out should have never been done. Gary was with me at the hospital, but was not allowed to come in when the test was administered. So I was injected with a drug that brings on the stress of the heart which is normally done by exercising on a treadmill. It basicly makes you feel like a billion tons is lying on your chest, you can't breath and your entire body seems extremely heavy. Anyway that is done and I tell Gary he can go back to work that day I should be fine. He was barely gone for an hour and my sister called him back because things had gone from bad to worse again. This time I felt like I was going blind and experiencing a severe heart attack. He got to the hospital and things seemed very hazy at this point for me. As I recall the series of events following that attack nothing seems to make sense. The thing that stands out to me is Gary giving me a big hug when he got to my room and then proceeding to tear a strip off the doctor. The doctor tried to help us understand what may have happened and puts the responsibility in another doctors hands. The was the beginning of blaming others and many different opinions by many different doctors, which made things very confusing for both Gary and I.
After that eventful afternoon with my heart and my vision the doctors had me moved to the observation room. I felt like I was being demoted and a sense of hopelessness came over me. By now I am finding it very hard to get around on my own, so I am being wheeled around to the bathroom and to the shower. Of course blood pressure medication was started the day I was admitted to hospital and the meds are starting to have some positive impact. I am taking 4 blood pressure medications plus on the nitro patch to help keep my heart rate down. I have also been placed on a heart monitor, so that the doctors could stay on top of when my heart rate would go up. So that in turn brought on many ECG's that always showed all was okay. Being on so much medication to bring my pressure down, now I am starting to struggle with low blood pressure. Convincing the doctors of this seemed to be quite a challenge until I started having nightmares. An adjustment was made to reduce some meds and change a few. I also started taking a sleeping pill so that I could get some proper sleep. Everyday I would ask if I could move back to a private room hoping things were improving with my health. I ended up being in observation for about 5 days and then happy to be back in a private room. I still needed help getting to the bathroom and to the shower. Someone from the family was always around, so they were able to help me and I didn't have to bother the nurses.