Perseverance

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:2, 3, 4, 12, 17 (NIV)
A night in the ER brought about more appointments, suspicions and more medication. I was able to talk to the head of the ER who gave me a prescription for the same pill that brought my blood pressure down when we had arrived at the University Hospital Emergency. It was only to be used if the top number of my blood pressure went up to 190 or higher. Fortunately the fluid pill that I had started the day before seemed to be working quickly and my pressure did not spike up over 175 again. I was also set up with an appointment to see the blood pressure specialist the following week. As the week passed it was uneventful as I continued to relax on the couch and family and friends stopped by to visit and help out with cleaning and meals.
There were suspicions of kidney artery narrowing after I had been examined at emergency, so my appointment with the blood pressure specialist encouraged other future appointments. Another medication was added to continue to bring my pressure down. The specialist felt that would be beneficial as my body continues to find some sort of stability. She also wants to have a look at my heart after examining me, so she told me there would be an ultra sound set up for both my heart and my kidney.
So the count is 3 blood pressure medications and one waiting in the wings only for emergency. More waiting, teaches more patience as I wait for the phone to ring with appointment dates. I have taught myself how to keep my blood sugars under control without the use of insulin. I have been eating smaller portions at mealtime, eating snacks in between and trying to keep everything on the same time schedule. As the next week passes I am starting to have more hours where I feel better than not so good, but still not really being able to do much more than resting on the couch. Resting is probably a good thing as my body is working so hard to stay afloat, but that brings a little complication with my lungs. No movement is causing my lungs to feel heavier and tighter, so it is time to treat me with IV antibiotics. On Feb. 10th, Wednesday afternoon Gary took me in to get me started on on my first med. At this point I have been on the 3rd blood pressure medication for a week and I have already seen positive results. I have a cuff to check my own pressure with at home and could see the numbers were staying down more regularly.

Tears Of Relief

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength. And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:13,19 (NIV) On Friday January 22nd I had an appointment with my CF doctor and talked to him about what was happening to me. As my illness at this point is a continuous mystery, he does conclude it is not CF related and that being treated for high blood pressure is a great start. He sets up a phone call with my family physician to encourage her to refer me to a blood pressure specialist, who might be able to tweak the medication to fit my individual needs. More issues seem to be revealing themselves as I find myself struggling to keep my sugar levels up along with an imbalance with my cycle. My doctor wanted me back in her office Monday to check on my blood pressure to see if things were becoming more stable. Deciding that I could use a little more help with the situation she puts me on a fluid pill hoping to see a better outcome.

Tuesday morning Gary is off to work and I am heading back to what has become my favourite spot lately, the couch. Resting, resting and more resting. At this point I am starting to feel tired of resting, but there was nothing else I could do, so no point in complaining about it. Approximately 1:45 that afternoon things get a little out of hand. I am feeling very light headed, dizzy and my heart rate is going up. I wait it out for about 15 minutes and it is definitely not getting better. Finally talking myself into calling Gary at work he comes home checks my blood pressure and it is 205 over 107. An hour since these symptoms start we are in the car driving to University Hospital Emergency. That seemed like an extremely long ride and my blood pressure continued to spike encouraging my heart to race.

Extreme pressure in my head made it almost impossible for me to walk so Gary dropped me off right at the door and I plopped myself into a wheelchair. Upon registering my blood pressure was sitting at 195 over 98, so I was feeling a slight bit of relief in my head. We were told it could be awhile before I would be able to see a doctor and that was pretty obvious as the emergency waiting room was spilling out into the hallway. I decided to call my doctor and let her know we were in emergency due to a spike in my blood pressure and she steered back to the anxiety story, so I politely said okay, thank you and good bye. It was getting time for me to eat so as not to have to deal with low sugars right then. We asked the registration nurse if there would be time for us to get a bite to eat and she suggested we go get our lunch and bring it back to emergency to eat. Once in the food court we decided to eat there which gave us some time to think the situation through. Discouragement set in as we discussed how long we would be sitting waiting to see a doctor and felt no one would do anything anyway. We made up our minds to go back to emergency and tell the nurse we were just going to go home. A miracle on the horizon as we travelled back to the registration desk. Approaching with our decision made, the nurse sees us coming and asks if I am Barbara Ginther. I say yes and she proceeds to tell me there is a room for me and pulls my name out from the bottom of the pill. Wow, that was definitely the amazing power of prayer and God's hand directly at work. Of course we were surprised at that news and immediately followed the nurse to the room filled with a little more hope. Lieing on the bed my blood pressure was taken and it was 215 over 107, to which the doctor said immediate action needed to be taken to bring that pressure down. As he left the room to get the proper medication for me a sense of relief came over me and I started to cry quietly. Noticing that I was a bit emotional Gary responds to me by saying, it's okay, don't worry, everything will be okay. I replied back and said, oh these are not tears of worry, these are tears of relief.

Things started happening very fast from there. I was given a pill to help bring my pressure down and within approximately 30 minutes there was improvement.

Hope In The Midst of Affliction

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lamentations 3:22-24 (NIV) 2010 has started out with a bang for me and it had nothing to do with resolutions. On January 13th, Thursday morning everything changed dramatically for me. Having battled low blood sugars for many years and Doctors diagnosing me with CF related Diabetes, I was very aware of my fluctuating levels and keeping them fairly under control. Before entering the fabulous Walmart hallways to shop I checked my blood sugars and I thought I was okay for awhile. About 10 minutes into this shopping experience almost instantaneously my sugars were at rock bottom. Fighting off the blackout I felt my head twitch to which I responded with a shake it off reaction, staying awake at all cost. A coke was brought to my rescue and sugars came up slowly and I regained full consciousness. Approximately 10 minutes after that things were not right. It felt like another sugar low was coming on, so I went to grab something to eat from the highly recognized old McDonald's. As much as I have enjoyed my 5 star experience there before, this time eating had become a bit of a challenge for me. I love eating and can handle a fair bit before I am fully stuffed, so I knew this was unusual. I was definitely not feeling very good. After eating I decided to end the day early, go home and rest. My mother-in-law was out with me, so she agreed that I did not look well at all and was a little concerned after watching me almost pass out earlier. Driving home down circle drive all of a sudden I started feeling light headed and dizzy and that turned into a racing heart. I pulled off the road and parked until the feeling passed and then got back on the road. Again these feelings came over me and forced me to again pull off the road, but this time the situation got worse. Along with the encouragement of my mother-in-law I finally dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived they found my blood pressure at 190 over 130 and my heart rate at 125. After a great deal of encouragement from the paramedics, my mother-in-law and a friendly phone call I agreed to go to emergency in the ambulance. A surreal feeling as I was chauffeured off to the hospital for the first time in something other than my car.

Upon arriving at the Saskatoon City Hospital Emergency I was checked in, asked a few questions, and several tests were taken. The conclusion was that I was dehydrated and a litre of fluids through I.V. was given to me. I was sent home with a blood pressure of 185 over 100 with no answers, the first of many improper diagnoses and a long journey ahead of me. Thus the latest of my journeys begins.

"I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." Psalm 18:1,2 "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1 (NIV) As my journey continues Saturday becomes another emergency call to 911 with a blood pressure of 205 over 107 and a very fast heart rate. Upon the arrival of the paramedics they check my blood pressure and it had already come down slightly and continued to do so while they were with me. Still remaining high they feel the need to tell me I am probably having an anxiety attack, which they felt would account for the heart palpitations. Well that didn't go over with me to well, so I was happy to see them leave and Gary and I decided to go our own route. We took a little drive over to the walk-in-clinic where my family doctor practices out of. After sitting there uncomfortably for almost 2 hours the walk-in-doctor sees me, checks my blood pressure and proceeds to conclude that I am experiencing panic attacks. Through these episodes, as I refer to them, I would also get light headed and dizzy. His advice was to go home and do what you normally do. I responded by saying so if I feel like passing out, just let myself pass out and then I should come to all on my own. His sarcastic response to me was, and I quote, "I have never heard of anyone passing out from a panic attack." One piece of constructive advice he did give me was to come in everyday for a blood pressure check until I could get in to see my doctor.

Feeling completely physically and mentally exhausted from whatever my body was going through it was impossible for me to do anything. Any normal activity that I did before become a gigantic task, like getting up off the couch, walking, going to the bathroom, eating and even talking. My appetite was done to nothing almost immediately and the weight started coming off. I forced myself to eat throughout the day as I don't have pounds to spare. These are things and many more that I haven't described here that I had never experienced before.

Monday afternoon I went in for a blood pressure check and my doctor happened to see me there. The nurse explained to her what was going on with me and then proceeded to put me in an examining room. As many other health care professionals had done before her, she proceeded to check my blood pressure and it was up. She sees it says anxiety on my file from the previous doctor comment and tells me we need to deal with this anxiety problem first. Unfortunately I was not pleased with this response, especially after I had already been experiencing high blood pressure for the past 5 days of which 2 911 calls were made, and no one was willing to treat what was happening to me seriously. Needless to say I raised my voice a little to get my point across, especially after she finishes up with this could be the "White Coat Syndrome". I said, "Dr., I have been seeing doctors for over 40 years, when do you think this white coat syndrome started for me?" Silence and then she realizes I am fed up and asks me to lie down on the bed, relax for 10 minutes and she will redo my blood pressure. Fortunately she sees that my blood pressure is still high after that and agrees to send me home on some medication to try to control the high blood pressure. Relieved that she was listening to me, but maybe not believing me, I went home and started the medication the next morning.

The following week was uneventful as we waited for the blood pressure medication show signs of improvement. Only 2 days into the treatment the doctor doubled the daily dose I was taking, so more waiting. Patience, a quality definitely lacking in my life, is now something I am learning very quickly. In the midst of waiting for positive results my weakness and fatigue continue to control my ability to carry on regular everyday duties. I have been blessed with a wonderful, caring, compassionate husband who has been available at every moment that I needed anything taken care of. Taking my blood pressure for me when I was even to weak to check my own pressure. Driving me from one appointment to another, bringing me a drink of water or a plate of food and coming home early from work if I called and wasn't feeling very good. He has gone above and beyond to make sure that I find the road to recovery. I have been blessed with a terrific family who have all been extremely selfless and giving. Meals have been supplied, house work taken care of and visits when I did not want to be alone. My Mother is a very precious gift in my life as she has given of herself more than I am deserving of. She made sure that my laundry has been kept up to date and always making sure that if no one was bringing or preparing a meal for us that we had a home cooked meal. Often she would arrive around lunch time with a sub sandwich for us to share dinner over. Then off to pick up groceries that we were in most need of. I could go on and on about the generosity and kindness that I and Gary have felt.